I spend my days watching TV with a beer (Oooh-aah, you're fat)
This seems to have caused my ample belly to appear (Oooh-ahh, you're fat)
Then one day my woman went and left me (Did not want to sleep with a whale)
She said she found someone more manly (A body that could not fail)
So I went and I looked into the mirror (You looked like a big tub of goo)
And I dreamed of being big and manly (Dreaming was the best you could do)
I thought to myself, what would I ask for? (If someone gave you a wish)
I think I'd like to look like my hero (That great big manly dish)
I want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger
I don't want to be fat and weak (Oh no, oh no)
I want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger
I want a manly physique
I put down the Cheetos and went and went on a crash diet (Carrots were all you ate)
Then I noticed my skin was turning orange (You're just a big mistake)
Then I overdosed on diet pills (Too bad you did not die)
Still I want to look like my idol (That great big beefy guy)
I want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger
I don't want to be fat and weak (Oh no, oh no)
I want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger
I want a manly physique
I bought myself a weight set and some steroids (To make you big and strong)
And I worked out really really hard (But it did not last for long)
I put out my back and the steroids made me sterile (Not like it mattered anyway)
And as for looking like my idol (He has one thing to say)
I don't want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger
I don't mind being fat and weak (Oh no, oh no)
I don't want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger
It's easier being fat and lazy
(You'll never look like Arnold Schwarzenegger
You'll always be fat and weak
oh yes, oh yes
You'll never look like Arnold Schwarzenegger
You are fat and ugly.)